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2002-12-23 @ 2:36 a.m. Today was the day I’ve been dreading with grave anticipation. I awoke to a seemingly ordinary Sunday morning. Then the telephone rang and inconceivable was on the other line and it was: “he’s very ill, can you come?” and my head proceeded to swell with sickening confusion. My heart argued with my head and my stomach disagreed with them both and I felt faint and distant with disbelief. The day where the moment was born in which it was to be determined whether or not any part of me cared for him at all or not. Then, when I thought my stomach had settled into something calm, the conversation I could feel coming like a bad storm arrived and hurtful things were said and then, of course, I cried in my bed. While I cried and poured myself into the arms of my one and only I came to a conclusion I am quite content with; there’s what we were, what we weren’t, and what we will never be able to be again. Though I do wish things weren’t so spiteful, I do understand that things are the way they are because, simply, it’s the way they are currently meant to be. The only thing I will apologize for is for taking something away from you without asking. I took my friendship away from you and never once asked what your opinion on the matter was, and I am deeply apologetic. Lastly, the past is still there. No matter how many entries you delete you will never erase the memories made and the time together. Older Entries |
