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2002-04-07 @ 3:55 a.m.
i remember summers, winters, seasons shifting below our feet, the sound of skateboard wheels on sun soaked concrete, your hand in mine, laughter, loud and long, genuine smiles, hide and go seek seven block radius, favorite music via turnstyles, talks that took all night to end, heart breaking nothing can mend [this isn’t real this isn’t real keep telling myself i’m waiting on waking up waking up in my bed shaking the dream from my head, you didn’t die, you aren’t dead someone please wake me up please tears falling from eyes swollen with swearing this is a made for tv movie swearing eight years wasn’t long enough calling your bluff, please wake up] your chemical blood beat through thick rich callused with chemicals could not make it, your body you break it vacant lot parking spot alone alone alone left alone barely breathing what were they thinking what were you thinking? [heavy heart hurts sinking sinking sinking sorrow seeping through blackened lungs memories making me dizzy swaying in sorrow i will wake up tomorrow and you will be alive reazlize i’m driving no direction/destination past my house repercussion resignation realize i’m not even driving i’m sitting staring through stares and “it’s ok” this is not ok, in any way, i cannot accept this i will not accept this it’s not supposed to be like this you did not die please wake me up] collapsed in chemical contradiction, cause and consequence ceased to breathe but body broke down malfunction can’t function with chemical compounds killing you i remember drinking (what were you thinking) i remember swimming running riding climbing growing learning knowing fighting kissing hitting and missing making mistakes meeting more talking less connecting disconnect reconnect talking talking driving kissing (please this cannot be) discussing existence as a falsity forced into minds made naive through time hearts shattering putting pieces back for the other smoking drinking smoking drinking camping tents sleep close cuddle friends circle love never ends death disturbs, interrupts, this is not real, this did not happen you did not die last night [cannot sleep eyes refuse to close see your face hear your laugh memories leak in like rain through rusty roof funeral need need body proof, brain refuses to accept information emotion anger in chest like heat in my breast like punching door at best all systems down no processing] shake me. wake me. this is a dream. it’s got to be. Older Entries |
