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your eyes @ say so much nothing There is no lonely like the lonely girl sitting in diners drinking coffee. Her only companion a composition pad, a pen to push up against it, and some words she wish she had the strength to scream up to the stars. She sleeps when someone’s looking, but when they’re not watching she’s worn to the bone biting her nails to keep from crying or dying; one of the two. She skips words like stones across paper place mats placing your name at the top, making a t-chart of pros and cons to convincing herself she’s beyond breaking mirrors, making mistakes, and slitting her wrists. She writes herself into paragraphs on pages of prose pretending to see the point and purpose while floating in the crowded space between her smile and her frown. She counts everything now, like everything counts for something: 1 o’clock, 2 o’clock, 3 o’clock—3 hours and she’ll go again, blank stare at digits glowing. Every song sounds the same and her voice is slowing sauntering off and on like the lights that flicker in the face of the spring storm. Sitting, watching the weather wear itself into the streets back and forth with wind and wanting. Waiting smells like coffee burning, but patience is a virtue and virtually impossible to ignore. She looks forward to looking back at this one day, to driving down a road you and her once rode down during some uncertain time and remembering what if felt like to feel so much for you, the one who saw nothing when you looked into her. Older Entries |
